...It's not quite a Jaguar. Although, I don't even know whereabouts Muswell Hill is.
I have, of late, been spending some time practising my driving in preparation for my part two test to be a driving instructor. Those of you who have passed your driving test will, no doubt, remember with varying levels of fondness such manoeuvres as turn in the road using forward and reverse gears etc, etc (AKA three point turn) and reverse round a corner. Difference is now (for those that passed in a new model T) you have to reverse round a left and right corner and reverse bay park as well. Now in the several millennia that I have had a licence, I have done these things hundreds of times but never properly since that day when I passed my test, I am shocked at the number of times you have to look where you are going, where you have been and where someone else might be. Also, if you are a 17 year old oik taking a test, you can get about six million minor faults (well, 15) and still pass. To be a driving instructor, 6 is your limit.
So, let me tell you about my practice on my own. I selected a corner to reverse around and proceeded to do it properly, observations and everything, then bump. Bugger, I thought; I've hit the curb. So back out and try again. Same thing. Surely I'm not that much of a klutz (that's a rhetorical comment). Back round, reverse down the road, quick look up the corner. All looks OK, so try again. Same again, bump. Stop the car, get out and have a butcher's and what do I see? Do I see a mounted curb? No. There's a sodding raised manhole cover that I didn't see.
Anyhow, I have a fellow trainee instructor as a buddy. the chaps name is Tom and a thoroughly decent fellow he is too. One problem. My instructor is a big fan of acronyms. Anyone who has taken lessons will be familiar with the likes of MSM (mirror signal manoeuvre) and others. We use two to remind us to look for bikes and suchlike either side before pulling away at junctions. BOB is bloke on a bike and TOM is tw*t on a moped. Therefore, my driving buddy, by default is ....
Anyhow, my instructor seems happy enough with my driving and I have now applied for my part two test.
In other news, Tina has her annual mobile phone upgrade. In my opinion, if you can't get a phone out of the box and use it more or less straight away, then it is far too complicated.
When is a Beer Not a Beer?
1 month ago